Merry Xmas

Merry Xmas

Winter showed up.

The sun took PTO. Classic.

Christmas shimmers into our homes like glitter glue wielded by a sleep-deprived fairy.

There’s shadow, there’s dark, and then there’s the part where you accidentally summon three ghosts while grabbing wrapping paper.

That’s not a flaw.

That’s branding.

Welcome to Dark Witchery in a Santa hat.

This season, while everyone else hangs lights and pretends seasonal depression isn’t creeping behind them like a dramatic theatre kid, we’re leaning in and making a spell out of it.

If you’re going to vibe in shadows, at least be spell-proof and emotionally accessorized.

✨ The Ornament That Knows Too Much

A Christmas ornament glinting in candlelight is basically the majickal equivalent of a security camera wearing makeup.

It reflects everything. Including bad decisions.

Choose wisely.

🦇 Invoking the Seasonal Chaos

Christmas is basically cosmic Wi-Fi. The veil between worlds drops to one bar, and suddenly you’re emotionally charged, spiritually approachable, and accidentally group chatting with the universe at 2 AM.

As witches (and mildly cursed holiday enthusiasts), we don’t just enjoy rituals.

We emotionally support them.

Spellwork for well-being?

That’s not fluff. That’s community service with extra sparkle.

🌲 Ingredients for Holiday Happiness (but make it spooky)

Collect the following like a caffeinated crow making interior design choices:

An evergreen branch or tiny pine tree (mandatory. It won’t judge you. Much.)

A white or red candle (flatters both festive altars and your dramatic soul)

Cinnamon sticks because we want prosperity, not subtlety

Pine cones: nature’s

Christmas grenades

Ornaments that actually mean something to you, not just vibes

A bowl of salt for protection, boundaries, and… flavor

Meditate while gathering them if you want, but mostly just appreciate that they all represent joy, warmth, abundance, and a well-decorated ability to spite winter.

🔥 Create a sacred space or the ritual police will sigh at you

Pick the coziest spot in your house where you can both relax and attempt world domination.

Remove clutter unless the clutter is cursed and contributing to aesthetic.

Candles at the center. Evergreen right in the spotlight like it’s starring in the Netflix of spells.

Add incense or music if you want, but if anything starts whispering back, you’re not in trouble. That means it’s working.

🎄 Crafting the shadow Happiness Spell

Light the candle.

Feel its warmth.

Do the majick.

Unleash the vibe:

Set Your Intention

Breathe deeply.

Imagine every bit of joy you want like bright little orbs circling you aggressively but politely.

Say It Like You Mean It

No poetry.

No timid vibes.

This is commanding spell hour.

Try:

“With this flame, I order sarcasm, laughter, and zero mortal nonsense this Christmas.

And so it shall be.”

Cinnamon for the Win

Sprinkle cinnamon around the candle base like seasoning an emotional steak.

Money?

Joy?

Festive spite?

Cinnamon covers all crimes.

Evergreen Vow

Creepily whisper your devotion to emotional durability:

“Like this tree, may my happiness persist even when mortals become unbearable.”

Let It Simmer

Let the candle burn a bit. Visualize your desires assembling.

Extinguish flame when done, save ingredients in a pile or jar until New Year.

💀 Shadow & Light: a duet we didn’t ask for, but here we are

Christmas is fun, but also emotional Russian roulette.

One minute you’re caroling, next minute you’re staring into a jar wondering if you hexed someone twice by accident.

That duality isn’t tragic. It’s sparkly emotional depth.

If you're feeling advanced, light a second darker candle and tell your sadness it’s acknowledged but also dismissed politely.

Healing plus petty elegance is how true emotional villains thrive.

Cinnamon + rosemary + sage blend in your kitchen or altar?

Keep doing that if you want.

Everyday majick that tastes like holiday therapy is iconic.

Sprinkle it into soup, tea, or life.

🎁 Gift jars because emotional trauma is best shared with monthly perks

Make tiny jars of cinnamon + salt. Gift them to your coven or human victims (affectionately).

Include a note explaining they were given in cursed love.

Group spellwork?

Fun.

It magnifies energy. Also increases chance of someone’s eyebrows glowing ominously. That’s just collective majick.

🔮 The Residual Echo

After the season ends and humans resume questionable behavior, remember to reconnect, rebuild altars, reset intentions, and accept that Christmas is a lifestyle, not just a calendrical jump-scare.

Embrace spirit, embrace shadow, hex gently, and let your heart glow like a dramatic candlelit insurance policy against nonsense.

🕷️ Final Blessing (but actually a curse in comfy pajamas)

May your candles burn bright, your joy last long, your enemies stub their toes invisibly, and your subscription be eternal but affordable.

Visit the blog, subscribe monthly, join the coven brainrot at darkwitchery.com

Because darkness is free, but wit costs website maintenance fees.