You're Not Cursed..

“You’re Not Cursed, You’re Just Making Bad Life Choices (and Maybe Stirring Your Coffee Counterclockwise)”

By Darklady darkwitchery.com

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Look, let’s just rip the bandage off:

You are not cursed.

Your ex is not a demon (he’s just stupid).

And that shadow in the corner isn’t an entity — it’s your pile of unpaid bills and poor decisions glaring at you in the dark.

I get it — blaming a curse feels better than admitting you ignored your own damn intuition and texted him back again.

But let’s be real:

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Classic Signs You’re Not Cursed:

You are tired… but only after scrolling for 3 hours and drinking gas station coffee.

Your love life is trash, but that’s because you keep dating people whose red flags are so big they need their own zip code.

Your spell didn’t work because you didn’t write the intention clearly — not because a woodland fae hexed your Tupperware.

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But Sure, Let’s Blame Spirits.

You forgot your password, crashed your car, AND double-texted a guy who once referred to himself as a “visionary.”

Clearly… witchcraft.

Look, babe. You’re not cursed.

You’re just spiritually dehydrated, emotionally overdue for a boundary, and probably ignoring your altar like it’s a collection of spooky knick-knacks instead of the divine nerve center of your power.

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Stop Asking for a Reading. Do a Cleansing.

Here’s your reading:

You already know what the hell is going on. You’re just hoping the cards will lie to you.

They won’t.

They’re judgmental cardboard snitches with no loyalty.

Pull a card and it’ll drag you on sight:

“You got the Ten of Swords again? Wow, I wonder why.”

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Fix Your Energy Before You Fix the Universe

You want results?

Try this spell:

Clean your house.

Cut the cord.

Block the phone number.

Burn the love note.

Stop blaming Mercury for your decision to text your ex while drunk on boxed wine.

Then take a bath, light a black candle, and whisper:

“I’m the problem. But I’m also the solution.

And the curse, too — if necessary.”

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Final Message:

You’re not cursed.

You’re powerful, chaotic, over it, and absolutely capable of resetting your whole life with one correctly cast spell and a little less emotional sabotage.

Now light a candle, stir your coffee clockwise,

and stop summoning trouble like it’s your familiar.

Darklady

darkwitchery.com

(Curses optional. Clarity mandatory.)

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