The Glitter Witch Next Door A Story: Chapter One

The Glitter Witch Next Door

Chapter 1: The Sparkle Menace Arrives

By Darklady

darkwitchery.com

I smelled her before I saw her.

Lavender.

Coconut incense.

And a hint of overconfidence.

She moved into the house across the street —wearing bell sleeves, toting crystals in a wicker basket,

and talking about “high vibes” like she invented moonlight.

At first, I ignored her.

She was the glitter witch.

The kind that thinks spiritual warfare can be solved with rose quartz and a Pinterest board.

But then…

she crossed the line.

The Quartz Incident

It was Monday.

I was in the garden harvesting nightshade in peace,

when I saw her place clear quartz in direct sunlight…

during Mercury retrograde.

I clutched my black salt.

She waved.

I did not wave back.

This wasn’t just ignorance.

It was provocation.

She set it up her altar in her window —

crystals, candles, a mini cauldron with glitter on it (I gagged),

and a sign that read:

“Good Vibes Only!”

I knew we were at war.

So I responded the only way I know how:

I buried an obsidian shard at the edge of my lawn and lit a candle with her name carved underneath.

Just to… level the field.

I started Hexing on the Sidewalk,

She started walking her dog past my house, humming and waving at my rosemary like it owed her something.

She said things like:

“Wow! Your energy feels intense!”

I replied with:

“So does a storm before it rips the roof off.”

She blinked.

I smiled.

It was love at first blood moon.

The Turning Point was when,

One evening she caught me in my yard, mid-banishing.

Black candle lit.

Jar in hand.

Winds picking up for no meteorological reason.

She froze.

I thought she’d scream or cross herself.

Instead…

she whispered:

“That’s… kind of hot.”

I didn't say a thing.