Don't Hex Before Coffee!

Witch Tip: Don’t Hex Before Coffee

Listen to me. I don’t care if the spirits are whispering or your ex just posted a thirst trap with someone named Crystal (because of course it’s a Crystal).

Do.

Not.

Hex.

Before.

Coffee.

Why?

Because last week I got up too fast, threw a candle at my altar, and accidentally cursed my own doorbell. Now every time someone rings it, a wind gust screams “LEAVE ME ALONE” in Latin. The mailman won’t come back, and honestly—I respect that.

Also, I once tried to banish someone before my first cup and ended up exiling my own debit card. Haven’t seen it since. Probably in another realm living its best life.

Pro Tip:

Caffeinate.

Center yourself.

Then throw your jars at the moon.

Witchcraft is powerful, but so is being awake enough to spell the target’s name right. Don’t be out here cursing “Brian” when it was “Bryan.” Now you’ve hexed a barista and he’s crying in the parking lot.

Moral of the story?

Drink your damn coffee. Then get wicked.

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